Do you FEEL sick to the bottom of your stomach about what could go wrong?
You would think that it might get easier as the kids grow up. However I was reminded that this is NOT the case just yesterday.
I dropped my daughters at the bus stop so they could head off on an adventure to stay with their cousins in Brighton.
So what’s the big deal?
They haven’t caught a public bus before. It’s a two hour journey. I couldn’t wait with them for make sure they got on the bus OK and bought the right tickets as I had to get back home for a client call.
Here’s what was going on for me:
In my head: what if this happens… supposing they… imagine if… do they have… I’m a terrible parent for abandoning them. SO MUCH NOISE!
In my body: I felt sick. My stomach felt funny. My heart rate went up a little.
My emotions: a little teary… ok a bit more than that! A bit guilty (that I was leaving them there). FEAR that something would happen to them.
I noticed all these things and I paused. I asked myself why I was feeling them.
I reminded myself that I am GOOD ENOUGH as a parent. That all these reactions were normal automatic responses, but that I didn’t need to feel the guilt and the fear.
So I trusted that they would be OK and that they have everything they needed emotionally and in their bags!
And I came home a proud mum having learnt a lesson in life.
It can be scary watching our kids grow up. We are constantly evolving as they grow up. Our role is to teach, protect, nurture, love. All unconditionally. And we have to adapt. Allow them to spread their wings. Learn to fail. To survive without us.