“Maybe the holiday magic is in the mess.” – Brene Brown
December is without doubt the craziest month of the year – usually jam-packed with Christmas get togethers, school performances, buying presents, wrapping presents and everything else that needs to be done before the big day (and if you are like me you can add a few family birthdays into the mix as well!).
Although Christmas is magical, it can also be a stressful, expensive and exhausting time, fraught with family conflict.
So this post is all about how to be less stressed this Christmas. Think of it as gift from me to you!
It doesn’t have to be a perfect Christmas!
Is there such a thing as a perfect Christmas? I can’t remember a year when absolutely everything went to plan. Either we forgot the crackers for Christmas lunch, or at least one of us was ill, or something else. But it didn’t matter, because we were all together as a family and still managed to enjoy the festivities.
It’s easy to get caught up in organising the perfect Christmas and stressing about the tiniest of details, but you can’t foresee all eventualities, and often things can happen that thwart your plans.
We can easily lose sight of what Christmas is actually about. The most important thing is to come together and celebrate in your own special way. There’s no need to feel any pressure to keep up with the neighbours – just do it your way and simply accept that what will be will be, because everything happens for a reason.
Giving and receiving gifts
I remember when I was little, I got so excited about what presents I might get. And I had to be reminded that it wasn’t just about receiving gifts but giving them, too.
When you get older, it becomes more about the giving of gifts – endlessly searching for the perfect gift that you know will make their whole face light up when they open it.
You put a lot of thought into the gifts you give to other people, but don’t forget that you still get to receive gifts too.
If you don’t like the gift you get, remember to receive with grace. Consider the thought and attention that has gone into picking that present for you – just as you put lots of thought into the gifts you bought for other people.
Keep it simple
Purse strings are tight, this year more than ever. But it’s not all about the money. Your love for your children isn’t measured by the amount of money that you spend on them at Christmas.
Concentrate on creating memories that will last a lifetime and don’t need to cost a thing! Play games, go for a walk, bake Christmas cookies and enjoy this special time together.
Pause for perspective
Take a moment to slow down over the festive period and appreciate this special time of year. Hopefully you’ll have some time off from work, so use it wisely.
You don’t have to pack your calendar with activities and days out – take some time to yourself and as a family. Snuggle up and watch a Christmas film, play a game together or simply read a book.
There’s always space for compassion and kindness to yourself and others at this time of year – regardless of your beliefs.
Acknowledge the efforts of others
Whoever’s hosting your Christmas this year, spare a moment to really think about how you can acknowledge their time and effort.
When you say “thank you”, say it with thought, meaning and gratitude. The host will appreciate that more than anything else – aside from offering to help with the washing up, of course!
My Christmas in 2007
The most memorable Christmas I had was back in 2007. Our first daughter was due to arrive on 28th December, but when my waters broke on the evening of the 22nd and she didn’t arrive, we were booked in to arrive at the hospital on Christmas Day.
The anticipation of her arrival meant we were up early that day. We opened our presents well before 6am! And by 8am we were settling in at the hospital.
It was a fun day to be on the birth ward. Pretty much all the staff we jovial and the radio was set to Christmas songs. Christmas lunch arrived with a mountain of food on the plate – just one plate though (nothing for my husband) but he ended up eating most of it!
Time passed. No baby arrived.
By the evening it was time to be induced. I was so focused on delivering my baby that I didn’t think about what it would be like to have her on Christmas Day.
There was no need to worry though – she finally made her way into the world a few hours after midnight – my Boxing Day Baby!
And she was the best Christmas gift I could’ve asked for.
Favourite Christmas Movie
Instead of a book of the month, I’m going with Christmas films for this month’s newsletter.What’s your favourite Christmas movie?
Elf is a firm favourite in our household. But a couple of years ago I watched Last Christmas, which is a bit of tearjerker.
Mindfulness tip
There can be a lot of tension around Christmas, especially when the house is full of family.
So this month’s mindfulness tip is to notice when you’re being triggered by someone and then take a moment to move away and PAUSE.
Take a few deep breaths.
When you feel like your heart has stopped racing, reflect on why you might have been triggered, not what they did “wrong”.
Be kind to yourself. Take the position that the other person is at least 10% right in their response or behaviour.
And from that place, choose a course of action that shows compassion and kindness to yourself and to the other person.
Merry Christmas!