The modern-day woman does it all! Balancing work and life often seamlessly. By the time we reach our 40s, many of us have a career, teenage children, a household to run, and potentially parents that are heading towards greater dependency. And all this at a time when the vast majority of us will be perimenopausal.
It’s a challenging time of life and navigating our way through it can be overwhelming, frustrating, and demoralising. So as empowered women of the 21st Century, how do we balance our work and our lives? This article will unveil 3 steps to the art of balancing work and life for the empowered woman.
“Which song shall we listen to while we do the washing up today Mum?” my youngest daughter asks as she picks up the tea towel and heads over to ask Alexa to play a song.
“Dance Monkey” I reply as I turn on the tap and put my washing-up gloves on.
We spend the next 5 minutes singing our hearts out and wiggling our hips to the beat of the music.
Why Achieving Work-Life Balance is Essential in Today’s Fast-Paced World
There is plenty of information out there about why it is important to strike a balance between our home and work lives.
The incidence of depression is higher in women than in men; most likely due to hormonal changes. In comparison to men, women are twice as likely to experience an anxiety disorder. Women are natural-born carers and often juggle many different roles and responsibilities which can also impact their mental health.
For more on the importance of work-life balance check out this great article and the latest research from Aviva.
The modern-day empowered woman wants to have her place in the world beyond caring and often works a full working week, in workplace cultures that are designed for men’s careers.
Most women reach a point at some time in their careers where they compromise between their career and their life responsibilities. They simply can’t do it all without snapping or losing the plot. Work-life balance becomes more important than ever. But what if you would have the job of your dreams and be superwoman in your personal life as well?
Step 1: Illuminating Your North Star – Uncovering Your Personal Priorities for a Balanced Life
On the face of it, identifying your priorities sounds simple, but it isn’t as easy as it seems! To carry out this exercise in a truly self-centered way can be hugely challenging for women with an instinct to put others first.
The “should”s, “have to”s, “need to”s are put to one side when we put ourselves first.
What lights us up?
What brings us the most joy?
I find it really helpful to focus a meditation or deep reflection on these questions to get the real answers.
Society places many expectations on us. Our families have expectations of us. Our friends presume to know us.
The truth is the only person that really knows you is YOU! And often we have got so used to putting ourselves last that even we don’t know who we really are. So, spend some time working on a list of your values. Think out the activities you do that don’t light you up and forget what everyone else thinks. Your priorities are yours, no one else’s!
Step 2: Drawing the Line – Establishing Boundaries for a healthy Work-Life balance
Having clear priorities provides you with a foundation for everything else. And what will make a great difference is how you set your boundaries. This step is harder than it sounds.
I have a simple question for you to ask yourself: “Is a particular task/activity aligned with your priorities?”
No hesitation here! “Yes” or “No” are the easier responses.
Yes = do it.
No = don’t do it!
The challenge lies with the activities that give us pause for thought. For these activities ask yourself, what is it about the activity that makes it difficult for you to set a boundary? Is it something that you are judging yourself for? Are you worried about being judged by others?
Try re-imaging how you would complete that activity if you have no constraints (time, money, perception, etc.) on how you would get it done. Does that give you any insight into how you can set a boundary around it?
Further reading: The Importance Of Setting Boundaries: Ten Benefits For You And Your Relationships
Step 3: Embracing Support and Connection – Remembering You Are Not Alone
Somewhere along the path of human evolution, we started telling ourselves that if we needed to ask for help then we would be perceived as a failure. Why is it that asking for help is so difficult? In the perfect world, often portrayed on social media, successes are celebrated and challenges are well hidden; for most at least! Here is a great article from Forbes on the importance of asking for help.
The biggest change you can make to have a better work-life balance is to ask for help. Help can come in many shapes and sizes. Paid or unpaid. From a friend or a stranger. Regular or ad-hoc. A significant or a simple task.
You’ve worked on your priorities and set your boundaries, now it’s time to get out of your own way and start asking for help where you need it.
- Don’t have the capacity to take on the extra work project? Explain your concerns and co-create a solution.
- Can’t get to the school pick-up? Ask a fellow mum for a lift-share in the knowledge that you will return the favour.
- Can’t keep on top of the housework and hate having a dirty home? Explore finding a cleaner that will do the bare minimum that you can afford.
- Fed up with doing all the household chores? Enlist the help of your partner and kids. Ask them which jobs they like to do and get them to do those to start with. Make the jobs fun to do with some great music and prancing about!
“A problem shared is a problem halved” – but unless we honestly communicate how we are feeling we can’t expect others to know. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to assume nothing about how someone else thinks or feels. Share how you FEEL and be surprised by the solutions that open up due to that.
Embracing Balance: Your Journey to Empowered Work-Life Harmony Begins Now
So you’ve found your North Star; you know what lights you up.
You have drawn a clear, solid line around your boundaries and how to establish them.
You are not afraid to ask for support from others in any shape or form.
You are now empowered to embrace balance in your life. Simple. Tick. Job done.
Not quite…
Finding balance in our lives is always going to be a challenge. And to complicate things even more balance is a dynamic term.
Life happens.
Things change.
The balance we strike today will shift again tomorrow. But if you keep going back to these steps I can assure you that you will find it a lot easier.
I have created a wonderful free challenge that gives you the time and space to help define your values and priorities. To find out more click here. Or if you would like some more personalised support then drop me an email (claire@reachingmybest.com).
I’d love to help!
It’s what lights me up!
If you liked this article take a look at The power of self-compassion: Boosting your mental health and wellbeing. This article cover the importance of self-compassion; another useful tool is striking the perfect work-life balance.